Happy Birthday, Jackson.

Today is my birthday.  It's would have been Jackson's thirteenth birthday.  I haven't been as excited about my birthday since Jackson passed away a little over a year ago.  It just doesn't seem as special without sharing it with my buddy and I don't feel like celebrating.  This year  I'm recovering from knee surgery and had a pretty rough day in managing the pain.  In addition it was a pretty rough day at work.  I've been a little grumpy and just didn't feel like I wanted to acknowledge the day at all.  


Tonight I grabbed a bottle of wine and an ice pack, determined to just spend a quiet evening at home.  As I thought about Jackson, I decided it was time to release some of the sadness about his passing. He will always be a part of who I am and what has helped to form me into the person I am today.  I learned patience, understanding and to spend more time loving than fighting.  It seemed like an appropriate day to spread the ashes that have been in a wooden box for over a year.   As the sun was setting,  I spread his ashes around the garden, the perimeter of the house and his favorite tree. As I gently scattered his ashes, I found a large blackened piece of metal.  It was Jackson's silver tooth. 


It feels a little strange finding a piece of dental work and feeling so emotionally attached to it.  I'm not sure what to do with the tooth; it certainly defined Jackson's rough and tumble attitude and it will always remind me of my best friend. Although my buddy is no longer here, I'm incredibly grateful to find a more permanent reminder that he once was.


Thanks for the birthday gift, Jackson.  I love you.

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